Well That Was Quick
by Ms Sticha
Summary: A compilation of prompts I received (most of these came from tumblr and were posted there first). Any character, and pairing is fair game. I just do the best with what I was asked.
1. Oh My God, You're In Love

**"** **Oh my God. You're in love." Shenko pairing**

"Hannah, glad you could make it so quick," Anderson greeted his old friend as she barged into the patient wing of the hospital. The woman was a force of nature, just like her daughter.

"How badly was she hurt?" the elder Shepard asked with practiced calm as she marched towards her daughter's room.

Anderson laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder and held her in place. "She'll be fine. You can see for yourself in a few minutes. It's a hell of a thing she accomplished, isn't it?" The conversation was clearly a delay tactic.

Hannah knew why the moment the hospital door slid open and a dark-haired soldier emerged. After a brief flash of panic the handsome man walked over and introduced himself but it wasn't necessary. His image was everywhere since he helped her daughter take down Saren.

Hannah walked into the room, convinced something was going on. Her suspicions were confirmed the moment she laid eyes on the grinning fool that was her daughter. One look was all it took.

"Oh my god. You're in love," Hannah blurted out, then looked over her shoulder to where Lt. Alenko introduced himself moment earlier. A mother always knows.


	2. What do I get if I win? LiaraJames

**"** **What do I get if I win?" Liara/James pairing**

The party came to a standstill - food and drink lay forgotten and music echoed through the empty rooms as all eyes were on the poker table. The game was down to two players and neither one was backing down.

"C'mon, Doc, there's no shame in folding," James said casually with a self-satisfied shrug.

"How very generous of you," Liara replied through a hint of a smile, "but you underestimate me. I have many talents that may surprise you."

The firelight caught in Vega's eyes, highlighting the ruddy glow to his cheeks as he measured up his opponent. She met his gaze and held it, daring him to respond. He did, but not with words. A flirty grin spread across his face and his shirt practically became translucent as he flexed under Liara's watchful gaze. This was much more than a simple game of cards, they just hadn't admitted as much.

"Is that so?" he asked with a devious glint in his eye. "What do I get if I win?"

"You can take everything on the table."

"Then I guess we'll see what I can get on the table," he chuckled suggestively as he laid down a royal flush.


	3. I think I'm in love with you

**I think I'm in love with you and that scares the hell out of me - Commander Shepard and Kaidan Alenko**

Shore leave was supposed to be their time, a chance for Shepard and Kaidan to feel out whatever was between them and decide how to progress. It was their chance to just be a guy and a girl navigating the waters of life, relationships, emotions, without the weight of the universe on their shoulders. Unfortunately, the battle against Saren and everything that followed in the wake meant that much needed vacation kept getting pushed back. First it was Shepard's hospitalization, then the desperate search for survivors, and now _this_.

Shepard leaned back in the uncomfortable metal chair and stared longingly out at the Vancouver skyline. She didn't even pretend to listen to the dull drone in the committee room anymore. Why should she? They clearly weren't there to listen to her. They only wanted to hear what they already believed: Saren was a rouge agent who convinced the geth to follow him. It wasn't too surprising, though. Reapers were an unknown, a terrifying prospect that defied logic. It was easier to sweep them under the rug along with Shepard's testimony. At least there was an upside – these mandatory meetings gave Shepard plenty of time to think about her current situation without Kaidan's hypnotizing influence, plenty of time to realize how foolish she'd been. Maybe that's what she needed after all.

Hackett kept staring pointedly in Shepard's direction, but she didn't care. He knew her well enough to believe her version of the events. They had the truth and he knew it, no matter how frightening it was. He could allow this charade to continue if he wanted, but he couldn't make her like it or even pretend to pay attention at this point. Her presence was all he guaranteed and that's all they were getting. After one last furtive glance at the young commander Hackett stood abruptly, his mere presence quieting the talking heads mid-sentence. "We can continue this discussion if you wish, but I believe we have all we need from Commander Shepard." Hackett dismissed her with a curt nod, his pale eyes locking with hers just long enough. The wink, quick and subtle, would've appeared as nothing more than a twitch to anyone else but she caught it and understood. This was her break.

The confines of her temporary quarters were too stark to face after yet another day locked away in Alliance HQ, so she left the building complex and simply kept walking. Anywhere would be better than where she was, and the farther away from wide-eyed soldiers and disbelieving top brass the better. The Vancouver air was fresh and the breeze cool, a vast improvement over the committee rooms' stale recycled environment full of hot air that reeked of bullshit. Or maybe that was just the ideas that stunk. She shrugged a hooded sweatshirt over her uniform, pulled a hat low over her face, and meandered through the streets without a destination in mind. The slow, meditative pace allowed her to mentally prepare the message that needed to be sent.

Darkness enveloped the streets as the sun descended behind the towering skyline, the air cooling by the minute. It was impossible to say how long Shepard wandered the city and how far she walked. One thing was certain, though – it was time to stop. Her body needed food and she needed to rest long enough to send the message she'd mentally written half a dozen times over. The dingy little hole-in-the-wall bar was as good a place as any to take care of both tasks at once. It was relatively quiet, nothing like the intense clubs on the Citadel or rowdy bars catering to the soldiers closer to HQ. Most of the patrons didn't even look away from their drinks or the game long enough to notice her. It was perfect.

Shepard sat down at an empty table in the corner and placed her order before opening her 'tool. She didn't have to consider word choice or phrasing at this point. The message was written; it just needed to be put into words on the screen. Her hands shook dangerously so it took twice as long as usual, but she pressed on. This was too important. She squeezed her eyes closed, fighting back tears as she pressed send. Her 'tool chimed as the message disappeared into the ether, the lonely sound echoing a second time in her guilty mind. It was done.

A knot of dread and self-loathing filled her gut as she waited for a response. There was no way she'd be able to eat like this, but the order was on its way no matter what. The soft footfalls approaching her table were a sure sign of that. The even stride slowed almost hesitantly before coming to a rest next to her. Shepard looked down at her hands, absentmindedly picking at the dead skin along her nails to avoid eye contact. She wasn't up for human interaction, especially if the wait staff recognized her. The person stood silently at the end of the table long enough to make Shepard vaguely uncomfortable. She started to look up when a plate slid across the table and came to a stop directly in front of her, the juicy burger and heap of fries surprisingly impressive for such a pit. Shepard mumbled a quick "thanks" as her stomach rumbled in appreciation, but the figure didn't leave. In fact, they slid into the seat across from her. Panic coursed through her the second their eyes met.

The tall, dark man sighed as he leaned back and made himself comfortable. His eyes pierced through her, his troubled gaze even. "So, do I get an explanation or am I just supposed to accept you cancelling on me?"

"Kaidan, how'd you find me?" Shepard whispered nervously.

"I was going to ask you the same thing before I got your message," he chuckled humorlessly. "I always come here and have for years. I live right down the street. But you didn't answer my question." Kaidan stared at Shepard with a renewed intensity, hurt and confusion bare on his handsome face. "Why'd you break our shore leave plans? Did you suddenly change your mind about… _this_ – whatever this is between us? Or… or did you decide we're… no, _I'm_ not worth the hassle?"

Those words and all the pain behind them cut Shepard to the bone. This was exactly what she was trying to avoid, and yet here it was exploding in her face. There was denying her guilt now, not when she saw how much she'd hurt him. She opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water, unsure how to proceed without fucking things up worse than they already were. "I can't do it, Kaidan," Shepard admitted desperately, "I can't go on vacation with you. I'm afraid of what would happen."

"And what's that?" he asked quietly.

"Apparently you don't know my shore leave record so far," she deadpanned, desperate to diffuse the situation with some dark humor, but received no response. Shepard stared at Kaidan, at the worry lines etched deep in his forehead, at the way his shoulders sagged and his lips turned down into a deep frown, and the truth fell from her lips. "That it'd be perfect, like I think it would. I don't know… I just…" a shaky sigh filled the silence while she mentally struggled with her words, but then her heart took over. "I think I'm in love with you and that scares the hell out of me."

Kaidan cocked his head to one side and his amber eyes narrowed on her. "So you're going to run? That doesn't sound like the Commander Shepard I know."

Shepard stilled under his gaze. "You think you know me that well, do you?" The question was simple, but had the edge of a dare. Kaidan's demeanor changed like the flip of a switch. The worry melted from his face as his full lips quirked upwards; his muscular shoulders lifted and pulled back, free from the weight of his heart and now proud and strong once more. This was one challenge he'd accept any day.

"I'm pretty confident," he quipped in an almost smug manner. "For instance, I know you well enough to know that's your first full meal of the day even though you're a biotic and need five times that many calories – and nutrient bars and coffee don't count," he added before she tried to make excuses, because he knew she would. Shepard sat back, somewhat surprised, and gestured for him to continue. "And I know you're wishing you ordered a whiskey instead of a beer. Wait… scratch that. A whiskey _with_ your beer." Kaidan watched her closely, not missing the tiny upturn of her lips that admitted his accuracy… that divulged even more than that. "And I know you well enough to know you sent that message because you knew I'd see right through you in person. Because cancelling isn't what you really wanted… and you know I know you well enough to see that." Kaidan cocked his head to the side, one eyebrow raised in an almost taunting yet totally alluring fashion as he seemed to see right through her. "How am I doing so far?"

"If you knew me so well then you'd…" Shepard's words drifted off into a stunned silence as Kaidan lifted a single finger to quiet her. Moments later a man appeared at the table holding a small tray.

"Have your whiskey ready for you?" he finished with a wide grin. "I had the order in, but it took a little longer than usual since they're so busy. Canucks are in the playoffs," he shrugged, gesturing to the screen behind him as a roar filled the bar. He leaned in to be heard over the crowd, his breath hot on her skin, his biotics pulling against hers until they sang in her head, and whispered, "So what's it going to be?"

It took considerable effort, but Shepard managed to pull away from the captivating feeling that was him… no, _them_. She leaned back and took a huge bite of her burger, using the food to cover her foolish grin. What could she say? He was right; Commander Shepard never let fear slow her down when something was important. And right now, nothing in the universe was more important than what was happening in that little booth.


	4. Why's it Purple

**Why is it suddenly purple - no character or pairing specified**

* * *

"Why is it suddenly purple?"

James shook his head in confusion. It was damn near impossible to hear anything over the loud music and even louder patrons. That's what made Purgatory the perfect place to let off steam. Unfortunately, it also made any conversation difficult. He leaned in towards the young soldier at the far end of the group, signaling her to repeat herself.

"Commander Shepard's face – why's it purple?" the marine repeated loudly, gesturing to the dance floor for good measure.

There was no need to look. James knew exactly what was waiting for him and what it meant - the night was over. Lyssa Shepard was nothing if not consistent in that regard. He gulped the remains of his beer with frightening speed then turned to the small group of soldiers surrounding him. All eyes were locked on him, waiting for a response. "It's been fun, but duty calls. Next round is on me." Charm practically oozed from his smile as he excused himself and made his way to the center of the storm.

A tiny human woman stood at the far edge of the dance floor, her feet planted firmly to keep from toppling over as she craned her neck to look up at the two individuals front of her. One small fist locked on her hip while the other hand continuously jabbed into the turian's abdomen. That was as far as she could reach comfortably. It was impossible to hear what she said, but her long brown hair swung freely with each and every thrust of her arm so she was putting a fair amount of force into it. The sight would've been hilarious in almost any other situation, with almost any other individual. Admittedly, it was still funny, but he couldn't laugh until everything was resolved – without bloodshed if possible. He knew the best way to accomplish that, but he had to be fast and prepare to endure Lyssa's wrath.

"Time to go, Lola," James announced as he grabbed the tiny woman and tossed her over his shoulder. She continued to spit and hiss like a feral cat the entire way out of the bar, but at least it was all focused on those two men. He knew his Lola would never really hurt him. Hopefully she wouldn't remember this part in the morning, though.


	5. Another Take on Purple

**Why is it suddenly purple? version 2**

* * *

Liara leaned heavily on the table, one hand cradling her drink while the other held her head upright. Normally Shepard kept a dry ship, but exceptions were made for this one occasion. Noveria was brutal on all of them and there was no chance for a proper leave in the foreseeable future, so Shepard spontaneously announced mandatory downtime while presenting an overflowing box full of food and booze. Everyone was more than happy to comply.

The drink selection was impressive and diverse. Liara picked her poison carefully, filling her glass with a vibrant green fluid. Elasa was the perfect drink in which to drown her thoughts. There was a reason they called it 'sorrow's companion'; the initial sharp coldness gave way to a bitter aftertaste with a tangy sweet undertone. It was perfect.

Joker droned on with yet another in a string of stories, each one more exaggerated and curse filled than the one before, but Liara paid no heed. Her attention was locked on the lone figure at the far end of the mess.

Shepard riffled through the cabinets, her loose tank top pulling up to expose a pale, taut abdomen as she stretched as far as her body would allow. Her back arched seductively as she leaned into the counter for more purchase but she eventually stepped back empty-handed, frustration clear on her beautiful face. One pink lip disappeared into Shepard's mouth as her bright eyes cast about the room. Whatever she was contemplating was something she didn't want everyone else to see. Liara glanced away before she could be caught staring. By the time she dared look back Shepard was balancing gracefully on a cabinet door, one leg pointed to the side in a pose that would put most professional dancers to shame. Liara's breath hitched as her mind wandered into dangerous territory.

"Uh… Liara, why is it suddenly purple?" Joker asked loudly.

Jolted out of her trance, Liara blinked slowly. Her hands fiddled with the now-empty glass as she processed the question, but she was at a loss. "I'm sorry, I'm not following," she admitted sheepishly. Then she saw where Joker was pointing. A violet blush colored her cheeks borne of equal parts embarrassment and anger. " _IT_ is my scalp crest, and it's none of your business," Liara replied tersely. She pushed away from the table and stumbled towards the med bay, leaving the rest of the crew in stunned silence.

"What was all that 'bout," Joker slurred. "Jus' never saw it do that before…"

"Increased blood flow, lower inhibitions, and sudden pheromone release – I think it's pretty obvious," Garrus chuckled as he poured another drink.

Joker stared at the turian with open confusion until Ashley finally took pity on him. She leaned in close enough to not be overheard. "She was turned on, stupid."


	6. Drunk - Shenko

I recieved the prompt "Drunk" for Shenko, and this was the result.

* * *

"Hey Shepard," Kaidan called out jovially as he swaggered over, "have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? Because they are."

Shepard paused, fork halfway to her mouth, unsure exactly what was going on and how to respond, but it didn't matter. Kaidan pushed ahead with the conversation without her.

"They're the color of spring back home, when everything starts coming back to life. Well, not always. I mean, that's always the color of spring and new leaves and stuff, but your eyes don't always look like that. When your biotics flare they get this cool blue swirl to them that reminds me of the ocean and it's somehow just as perfect because you have that calm exterior but nobody really knows what's going on underneath… and it means you're about to unleash hell… like a storm or something. Oh, I got it - a hurricane, just blowing in and destroying everything in your path. Or maybe a tsunami that just sweeps in and wipes everything out. I haven't thought that part through enough, but I will. It's important."

His earnest sincerity was almost too much. Shepard bit back a smile and leaned in, placing one hand on his to redirect his attention. "Kaidan, are you drunk?"

"Maybe…" he drawled through a wide, lopsided grin.

"Thought so," Shepard replied, her smile matching his. This was one opportunity she'd never pass up. "So… have any profound thoughts on any other body parts of mine?"


	7. Flannel shirts - Shenko

One of my lovely friends sent the prompt "flannel shirt" for Shenko, and this is what I wrote for her.

* * *

Shepard slumbered peacefully despite the way her head vibrated against the shuttle window. Strands of fiery hair clung to the moisture on the thick glass, the combination of sweat and sun filtering through the sleep-waved hair to make the small compartment look positively ablaze. The results were as beautiful as comical, and Kaidan was overwhelmed with emotion. He was the luckiest person in the universe. They were all lucky that Shepard was every bit as amazing as the legend that sprung up around her; she managed the impossible by defeating the Reapers. But after all was said and done, he got her back. That made him the luckiest of all.

If ever a person earned a lifetime of rest, it was her. Unfortunately, Kaidan had to interrupt that slumber. The shuttle would be landing soon, and he had something to take care of beforehand.

"Hey there, sleepyhead," Kaidan murmured as he smoothed the wild inferno that was Shepard's hair.

"We there?" Shepard mumbled, her sleepy words a jumble of consonants that Kaidan managed to interpret with practiced ease.

"Almost. But we have to talk before we land. I have some good news and bad news."

Shepard bolted upright. Years in the military trained her to snap to full alert at the first sign of trouble, and that was something that didn't go away after a few months of disuse. The familiar lines of worry creased her brow once more.

Guilt gnawed at Kaidan. If he never saw those worry lines again it would be too soon, and here he was causing them. "Relax, it's nothing major," he soothed, more for his benefit than hers. He rubbed his thumb along those worn creases until they smoothed. "I just know how much you were looking forward to not wearing a uniform for once. The thing is… that's not gonna happen. Not entirely at least. The good news is, I have everything you need right here."

"There's a required uniform for the orchard?" Shepard asked wearily as she took the small package, suspicion clear on her pale, battered features. She still had a lot of recovering to do, but they'd have plenty of time for that.

"More or less," Kaidan answered carefully. "Just open the box, will you?"

Shepard sighed. Kaidan was being shady as all get-out, but this was just a gift. The quickest way to the answer was simply doing as he requested. Her scarred fingers fumbled along the seams for several seconds before she successfully pried the top free. A thin sheet of tissue paper covered the contents, but it did little to obscure the bold patterns of color underneath. Shepard looked back up, one eyebrow arched in silent question, as she pulled the contents free. "Shirts?"

"Not just any shirts, Shepard. Those are flannel shirts, the unofficial uniform of my people. Welcome to Canada."


	8. Digging Myself a Nice Grave

The prompt for this one was "Oh, just digging myself a nice grave, you?", no characters specified.

* * *

Joker looked up from the crappy, vaguely nauseating series of images flickering across his private terminal and nodded at the man sliding into the empty seat next to him. Kaidan's appearance was a welcome distraction from what Wrex promised to be "the funniest thing ever", which actually turned out to be about as funny as an execution… because that's what it appeared to be. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Joker asked as he shut the vid off with a shudder, his sense of relief mingled with renewed wariness for the resident krogan and his clearly sick sense of humor.

"Oh, just digging myself a nice grave, you?" Kaidan sighed dramatically.

"If you think dragging someone else into this will get you off the hook, you're sadly mistaken." Shepard's voice echoed through the cockpit, practically rattling the 'tool right off the Lieutenant's wrist. Alenko was unfazed. In fact, a slight grin pulled at the corner of his lips as he made eye contact with the pilot.

"Looks like I'm enjoying a new show," Joker chuckled heartily, ready for some real entertainment for a change. The tone of Shepard's voice promised this one could be a doozy.

"You're not getting out of this that easily, Lieutenant. What exactly did you mean by that last statement?"

"Nothing, I swear. I'm sure your decision to not take any technically-minded crew on this mission won't backfire on you at all," Kaidan replied evenly, his grin widening. Surprise, surprise, the quiet guy was a master-level troll.

"And the fact that it's an all-female squad has nothing to do with this? You're not afraid us fragile little girls will break a nail and need an emergency manicurist or something?"

Kaidan's face paled. "No, it's not, uh… I didn't mean…" he replied awkwardly, stumbling over his words in his eagerness to correct the sudden turn the conversation took. "We all know you're not fragile or a little girl…"

"Oh, so you're calling me fat now? I'm not small enough for you?" Shepard replied instantly. Poor Kaidan was too panicked to realize he was getting trolled by a true master, and Joker was enjoying the show too much to let him in on the little secret.

"You know your aren't fat, Shepard," Kaidan sighed in exasperation. "If anything, you need to gain weight…"

Joker whistled, low and slow, and pulled himself free of the pilot chair as Shepard's indignant shriek covered his muffled groans. Alenko unwittingly struck a very raw nerve and this was about to get ugly. "I'll leave you to your digging, Kaidan. You seem to be going a little deeper than my comfort level so I'm going to bail, but I'll be in the mess for your funeral meal once you either throw away your shovel or come through to the other side." The sadistic part of Joker wanted to record the remaining exchange to show Wrex some _real_ dark humor, but he didn't want to be the second person digging their grave that day. Alenko was on his own with this one.


	9. Happy - Shenko

This was a 300 words or less prompt set, and a friend sent: "I can't remember the last time I was this happy" for Shenko. And I did it in 100 words!

* * *

"Are… are you crying?" A gentle smile curved the corners of Shepard's mouth as she asked, though the answer was clear as day.

"I can't remember the last time I was _this_ happy," Kaidan whispered. He absently wiped the tears from one cheek but his gaze remained enraptured by the beauty before him.

It was almost too much. Shepard shook her head and chuckled as she embraced Kaidan from behind. "I'm pretty sure the steak will taste better while it's still hot, and you're running the risk of watering your beer down with your tears. Stop staring and eat already."


	10. Pillows Are Overrated

The prompt was "Pillows are overrated"

* * *

"Hey Lola, looks like we may be here awhile," James called out through a shit-eating grin, heedless of the bullets whizzing by. He was definitely up to something. "I know I have a hard body that drives you wild, but my muscles are a surprisingly soft place to lay your head. Just keep that in mind if you get tired. I'll even keep you warm if you ask nicely."

Shepard chuckled despite herself. That man was a shameless flirt, all bark and no bite, but the sudden stillness to her left made it clear the other member of their party wasn't so sure. Kaidan missed a lot in the months he spent hospitalized and in direct service to the Council, and the scant few days since his return were not enough to catch him up to speed. His mind was probably filling in the blanks with the exact wrong answer. That was the last thing Shepard wanted, especially when there was still a chance…

"Tempting, but I think I'll pass, Vega. Pillows are over-rated, anyway." Shepard ignored the exaggerated cry of disappointment and focused on the whiskey-colored eyes boring into hers. "Besides, I can think of a few places I'd rather rest my head."


	11. Scary Movies - Shenko

The prompt was "Scary movies", and they requested Shenko. I was happy to oblige.

* * *

"Hey Shepard, I'm glad you agreed to take a night off," Kaidan called out in lieu of a formal greeting as he entered her quarters. He was still a little uncomfortable just letting himself in, but he didn't want to face her good-natured teasing for standing outside the door and waiting patiently again. He did bunk there every night for the last two weeks, after all, but old habits were hard to break.

Salty, buttery popcorn beckoned from the table, the heavy scent filling the air and making his stomach grumble, but there was no Shepard. She'd be along soon enough, so he busied himself getting everything set up in preparation of her return. It was only a few minutes, but he was ready when the cabin doors slid open.

Shepard broke into a wide grin when she noticed Kaidan sitting on the couch surrounded by pizza, beer, and chocolate as well as the now meager-looking bowl of popcorn she'd prepared. "Wow, you really go all-out, don't you?" Shepard chuckled as she slid into the empty seat and his awaiting embrace, but her smile faltered the moment she laid eyes on the screen. "What's this?"

"An old vid Joker lent me. He said you'd love it…"

"I'm gonna kill him," Shepard muttered to herself. She turned away from the screen too fast, her eyes too wide as she focused on the man at her side. "I don't do scary movies."

Kaidan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing; that would only result in getting hit or banished, and he really didn't want to face either option. "You?" he asked innocently, but the chuckles practically broke through with that single word, "…the person who's faced down every single big, bad, ugly thing in the universe with a sarcastic quip and a solid hit, and you can't handle a scary movie?"

"You have a problem with that?" she asked defensively, then cringed the moment she heard her own voice. "Sorry, I just don't do them. I get all twitchy and jumpy and bad things happen…"

"Hey," he soothed, pulling her close, "I'll be here to protect you from all the big, bad, scary, fake stuff. We'll snuggle up and everything will be fine. You'll see."

Shepard burrowed in to his warm embrace and chuckled. "How 'bout this: we snuggle up and you can protect me from all the dick and fart jokes of the stupid comedy we're going to watch instead, 'cause I'm not watching that."ow 'bout this: we snuggle up and you can protect me from all the dick and fart jokes of the stupid comedy we're going to watch instead, 'cause I'm not watching that."/p


End file.
